The Camp Vamp: Katrina Fox

Commentary on GLBTIQ issues, social justice and some of life's quirks.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Using both hands

I’m so ensconced in gay world that I forget that straight people often have no inkling of GLBT culture, history or attributes, as was evidenced on Saturday night at the Animal Lib NSW annual dinner, when I painstakingly explained the term ‘femme’ emblazoned on my T-shirt to a woman who thought it referred to the French spelling of ‘woman’.

Thank goodness for researchers who study us, then release their findings to scientific journals which are then picked up by the mainstream media to help educate the public. Like the one by Canadian professor Michael Peters and his colleagues at the University of Guelph in Toronto, who found that ambidextrous people (those who can write and do other things equally well with both hands) are more likely to be bisexual.

The study involved 255,000 people. Among men, only 4 cent of right-handers and 4.5 per cent of left-handers reported that they were bisexual but 9.2 per cent of the ambidextrous said they were bisexual. Among women, 6.2 per cent of right-handers and 6.3 per cent of left-handers reported they were bisexual, compared with 15.6 per cent among the more ambidextrous.

So if there’s a high rate of bisexuality among the ambidextrous, how much ambidexterity is there among bisexuals? I don’t know 255,000 people, but I did a quick survey among the bi folk I know in Sydney. The first reply I got back seemed to verify the theory. Jade, who’s also a transwoman, can write with both hands and used her ambidextrous leanings to help her in sport. “Growing up as a boy and playing sport, when I played football I kicked the ball with my right foot but handpassed with my left hand; the same with playing cricket: bowling with my right hand and batting left-handed,” she said. Gabrielle can also write “drum, throw balls and other objects, massage, and best of all make love” equally well with both hands. Thinking I was on to something, I eagerly awaited the next reply. It was Glenn, who said: “I’m not ambidextrous; however, I am pretty skilled at wanking a cock in one hand and rubbing a pussy with the other hand, all at the same time.” (Now, that sounds an awful lot more useful than being able to write with both hands.)

To give my little survey a bit of academic flavour, I included the experience of my girlfriend Tracie. I know she’s not ambidextrous through years of struggling to read her handwriting that is often so illegible she may as well have written it with her left foot. “No, I can’t write with both hands but I’m very good at extracting orgasms from both sexes,” she proffered helpfully, before listing other things she can do equally well with both hands. “Holding a dildo very well with both hands, and spanking comes naturally with both hands as does wielding whips, chains and an electric drill.”

Hmm… I could really get into this research lark. Anyone know where I can get a grant so I can expand on my pilot study?

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