The Camp Vamp: Katrina Fox

Commentary on GLBTIQ issues, social justice and some of life's quirks.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Dating disasters

There are so many ways to get your 15 minutes of fame nowadays and gay people have jumped on most of the bandwagons – reality TV, Youtube, blogs – but we've yet to break into that hotbed of iniquity known as the office email that spirals (or virals) out of control. Take the most recent fiasco of law clerk Craig Dale, who sent a 'salacious' email to fellow female lawyer Azadeh Bashari in New Zealand asking if she were interested in casual sex. "I thought you were hot and was sure you'd be a rocket in the sack," Dale proffered. Ms Bashari, according to the Sydney Morning Herald, was "disgusted" and proceeded to forward the email to her 'single friends', titling it 'Loser Alert' and recounting it as her latest 'dating disaster'. The said email then spread throughout New Zealand's legal community and eventually overseas.

I obviously don't understand the intimate workings of the heterosexual mind, because it seemed to me that a brief 'thanks but no thanks' reply would have been more appropriate on Ms Bashari's part, but I guess she must work for a corporate legal firm and therefore have no life, so the decision to create a drama out of a non-event in her unexciting existence must have seemed attractive. Or maybe there's just something in the water at legal firms. Last year in Sydney two legal secretaries were sacked after a nasty email exchange that also found its way into the inboxes of hundreds of unsuspecting office workers, sparked by a missing ham and cheese sandwich – which is as good an argument for veganism as it gets (sorry, couldn't resist!).

I suppose we should be pleased that this seems to be one area of mainstream culture that GLBTI people haven't yet become embroiled in, but on the other hand, like most things, we can probably do it so much better. If Ms Bashari thinks a tame email like the one from Dale is "disgusting", she should thank her lucky stars she's not a lesbian or else she'd have been more likely to have received the following: "Wanna be my fuck buddy, darlin'? I've got 10 strap-ons of all shapes and sizes with your name on them, and my exes Sarah, Louise, Sandra, Alana, Roxy, Sue and Marianne all said you were a brilliant shag and a total screamer so I reckon we should get it on."

And turning down the Sapphic author of such an email would put things into perspective for Ms Bashari: "What do you mean you don't want to shag me, you uptight bitch? You fucking smiled at me the other night. If I were any other dyke, the removal van would have been waiting outside your apartment. But I'm not the possessive sort – I just want to fuck you occasionally. But you can't even give me that. No wonder my exes all said they dumped you 'cos you're a manipulative cunt." Now that's a 'dating disaster'. Got that, Ms Bashari?

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