The Camp Vamp: Katrina Fox

Commentary on GLBTIQ issues, social justice and some of life's quirks.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Suckatorium etiquette for girls

For those of you unfamiliar with the details and rules of this deliciously titled phenomenon, I enlisted the help of my friend John in explaining it to me. "They're small one-person cubicles with oval-shaped holes in the wall about 10-15 inches high and 3-5 inches wide for anonymous sex," he says.

Big enough for a pussy to be pressed up against one end and for fingers and/or tongue to come through the other? I enquire. John reckons so - yay! Anonymity is the key though and suckatoriums usually observe a strict no-talking rule. Hmmm. So how do you signal to the other party what you want? "Hand signals are en vogue," John explains. "You "signal" someone through a hole by pointing your two big fingers through or at the hole, kinda like hitch-hiking. That's the signal for the other party to put their pecker through." I wonder how this can be translated for chicks. How to communicate to a girl that you want her fingers rather than her tongue, and if you want her to concentrate solely on your clit, penetrate your pussy, or both? Poor John can't answer that one.

Ok, once you've had your turn, is it expected that you'll swap over and reciprocate? "There's no hard and fast rule. The other party can stick around for their turn, or just rack off. They usually rack off."But isn't that rude?"No, in fact it's de riguer."What if you realise you're not going to come, even though she may have been tongueing or fingering you for five or ten minutes solid? Surely if you just stop and walk off, the other person might feel insecure that they weren't good enough?"Insecurity doesn't exist," John insists. "If it does, then what the hell are they doing in a suckatorium? Shit happens - just try someone else."

Wow, it's a whole new world of rules and social graces, isn't it? I have an idea. How about taking along a series of pre-typed (so your handwriting isn't analysed and recognised) notes of what you'd like done and to do and just post them through the hole? John's not convinced. "The boys wouldn't go for it at all, but the girls...maybe."

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