The Camp Vamp: Katrina Fox

Commentary on GLBTIQ issues, social justice and some of life's quirks.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Studying lesbians

What fun it must be for academics to use up hundreds of dollars in their research studies to come up with conclusions about people based solely on their sexuality. Among the latest "findings" is the little gem that lesbians get turned on by watching lesbian, gay male and heterosexual porn, in contrast to gay men who are aroused almost exclusively by male erotica, and straight guys who prefer girl-girl action. In other words, dykes don't care who's doing the fucking, as long as someone is.

Well, I shall sleep better at night now that this little known fact has been made official and will even appear in a scientific journal.Then there's the study conducted at the University of Texas, which claims that lesbian and bisexual women don't hear as well as straight chicks. But, every cloud has a silver lining and you'll no doubt be pleased to know that our hearing is more sensitive than our gay male counterparts and heterosexual men.

According to this amazing piece of research, the reasons for this are that there are subtle differences in the way the brain and central nervous systems develop in lesbian and bisexual women. And not only is our hearing inferior to our straight sisters, our hands are different too, it seems. In fact, the researcher in New Jersey who measured finger ratios in gay women found that their hands resembled those of straight men. In spacial awareness tests lesbians also tend to perform more like men than heterosexual women, she concluded.

Well, that's it then - I'm not a real lesbian. My hearing is fine, I have pretty little hands, I get lost all the time and have to turn street maps upside down to face the direction I'm travelling to get back on track. My world is shattered.

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